[An Original Short Story] “The Decision” by Nancy Cudis

Maria was teary-eyed, looking down on her bowl of chicken teriyaki as she told her tale to Louisa, her friend whom she considered more as of a listener than a talker. Right now, she just wanted to be listened to.

“What happened next?” Louisa said gently, look down at her intently, oblivious of the busy to and fro of waiters and laidback procession of customers in and out of the small Japanese restaurant. She was not eating, her hands on her lap.

That was what she liked about her friend, never forceful, just a genuine inquiry about her state of affairs, Maria sighed. She told Louise about her affair with a man who was in another relationship. If more people know about it, she would be labeled a kabit, a kerida, or a mistress, which she really is. She met Damian in a religious gathering at her church a year ago. At the time, Damian was new in town and new to the church. And he was engaged to be married. She and Damian started out as friends, sharing common interests in sports and food, until it turned into something more intimate two months ago when she started flirting with him and Damian flirted back.

“We didn’t have sex. We never did. We just kiss in secret and you know, hold hands,” Maria blurted out in a whisper with much difficulty. She knew she could trust Louise with that disclosure. In fact, she could trust Louise more than her own best friend, Samantha who kept asking her to keep away from Damian. Oh, Maria never listened. She didn’t want to, though she knew Samantha meant well. She loved Damian, her heart kept telling her so. More than that, she wanted to be a special someone in someone else’s life. She is 29 and never had a serious long-term relationship. My God, is wishing for a husband too much to ask? Maria thought.

Maria looked Louise with sadness and a pang of envy. Now Louise was a different story; her engagement ring sparkled so. Louise has had been in a long-term, and happy from the looks of it, relationship with a man she would be marrying with in six months’ time. Maria wanted something that Louise has--a good man and a simple life, and maybe a couple of pretty and smart kids in a few years.

How did Louise get everything when she didn’t even ask for anything? Maria remembered asking Louise bluntly about it once. Louise had looked at her oddly with her signature left eyebrow raised, and said, “I don’t know. You know I was never religious but I talked to God--and still do--and I asked him for a successful career. He seems to know my desires more than I do because he gave me a best friend, a boyfriend, and a husband-to-be all at the same time. You know what I did? I waited for God’s blessings and thanked him for them.”

For Maria, it was too much. She felt she was closer to God than Louise ever was, what with her going to church every Saturdays and praying every night before bed. Now, she was in love with a committed man and everything just didn’t fall into place. She was even in a Japanese restaurant with a girl she was supposed to hate because she has had everything. She asked Louise to come meet her for dinner because she was feeling panicky, and level-headed Louise seemed like the right person who could always take a problem like a puzzle piece, put it on the table, and look at it with clear eyes and a positive mindset. She always did during their college years, which is why Maria admired her. 

When Louise didn’t say anything, Maria spilled her worries. “I know he’s about to be married. In fact, he is going to General Santos for a few weeks next month to check on his girlfriend residing there. That has been worrying me a lot because his going there might erase his memories of me. I don’t want him to forget me. I was praying he’ll choose me over his girlfriend. Damian has assured me everything will be fine and back to normal when he comes back, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I don’t believe him.”

“What are you planning to do before he goes to General Santos?” Louise asked with narrowed eyes as if suspiciously, this time picking up a maki with a fork and chewing it.

“I don’t know. I’m really confused right now. All I want is to be someone special to somebody. With Damian, I’m happy. I love him and I want to be married to him. I can already imagine what our babies would look like,” Maria said with a sob.

Louise blinked with surprise. “But what if when he gets there, he’ll marry his girlfriend right away, or nothing will change between them? I mean, what if distance only managed to strengthen their relationship?”

This time, Maria let the silent tears fall. She tried to control them, aware that they were in a public place. Thankfully, they were seated in a dark corner. Louise fell silent; she stopped eating.

“I love Damian, Louise. I don’t know what I’ll do without him. I can’t imagine what my life would be if he leaves me.” Maria grabbed the table napkin and patted her wet cheeks.

Louise sighed. The table was silent as the pair resumed their meal.

After dinner, upon parting ways, Louise kissed Maria’s cheek and whispered into her ears, “Just think about what I asked and prepare yourself, may it be joy or pain.”

Later that night, in the apartment she rented with two of her friends, Maria stared at her computer where her Facebook Timeline stared back at her. She updated her status, saying: “Please choose me.” In just a few minutes, several of her social friends liked and commented on her status. Some of them didn't have any idea what she was going through, others had some inkling about what was bothering about her but not totally. Only Louise and their friend, Martha, who is now working in Bicol in the Luzon region of the Philippines, knew about her dilemma. Still, the idea that some of her social friends siding with her even if they didn’t understand anything is a grain of comfort.

Unsurprisingly, Damian liked and commented on her status, like he always did, saying, “What’s wrong, dude?” Dude was their endearment to each other. Maria stared at his question for a long time. Then Louise’s practical voice entered her head, “Prepare yourself, may it be joy or pain.” Maria turned off her computer and went to bed, crying.

* * *

Two weeks later, Maria called Louise over the phone. “Louise, I’ve made a decision.”

Louise, who was working overtime, was tired and didn't have to energy to think about Maria’s love affair at the moment. Still, she struggled to be polite. “Maria, what is it? Are you all right?”

“Louise, did you hear me? I’ve made a decision. I decided to stay away from Damian, physically and virtually for as long as it takes.” Maria sounded proud at herself.

“Hmmm. Why?”

Louise’s question threw Maria aback. But Maria gathered her composure and said with sharpness, “I want to be happy. These past few weeks, I realized I kept crying over him. It was becoming unhealthy for me both emotionally and physically. He treats me as someone special but he still thinks of his girlfriend. I know, because I caught him talking to her over the phone after our church service. I want to be the only one, not the second best nor the second option if his girlfriend chooses to dump him. I want to be happy and be loved solely and unconditionally. I’m sure there’s a man for me in this world.”

Louise was silent, prompting Maria to ask if she was still on the line.

“Yes,” Louise said distractedly.

Maria was beginning to worry. “What is it, Louise? Do you approve of my decision?”

“Maria, whether or not I approve of it is not a big concern. I just want to make sure, though, if you have the will to stand by your decision?”

Maria paused and thought about it. “Yes,” she replied with all her strength allowed, though she felt an uneasiness at the back of her mind.

“Would you follow my advice and socialize with other men physically?”

“No.” Maria wasn’t prepared to do that yet. She will have to get over Damian first.

Louise sighed sadly.

* * *

Louise was surprised when she checked her Facebook account one month since Maria’s astounding decision and found Maria and Damian actively socializing with each other. Maria’s status updates were disturbing--“I miss a man tonight”, “I wish I could kiss you right now while the moon is full”, “Will you be coming back for me?”, “Choose me and I’ll love you forever.” And Damian was right there, liking and commenting each status update, while Maria was replying back immediately. They were flirting online, Louise grunted, aghast. Louise and Damian were not friends on Facebook, so she checked the man’s account. The profile picture showed a man, most likely Damian, with a girl who doesn’t look like Maria on a beach, strolling.

Louise went back to Maria’s timeline and was disgusted over how Maria violated her decision. There were even recent pictures of Maria and Damian biking on Transcentral Highway and lovey-doveying in a public canteen. Louise called Maria on the phone to ask for an explanation but the call was unanswered. She turned off her computer and walked to her boyfriend’s house, which was only five blocks away. When she saw Fred cleaning his motorcycle, she went to him and hugged him, not minding his wet shirt, and began to sob.

“I told you about Maria, didn’t I? I feel so sad for her,” she whispered him.

Fred was rubbing her back and assured that everything would be fine.

Louise just went on sobbing silently, sending a quick prayer to God to take care of her friend.

- The End -

"The Decision" by Nancy R. Cudis
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